| 1. |
boardwalk
obviously, "boardwalk" is the top property in the game. doesn't matter if your opponents never actually land on it -- it's still the one you gotta have. there've been times when i've landed on an available boardwalk property without the proper amount of cash necessary to purchase it, and let me tell you, there's no point more sour in the game. you'll find yourself begging the other players for a financial reprieve, swearing that you'd "do the same" for them -- but it's always to no avail, because everyone's after boardwalk. it's like the one chocolate ice cream saucer in a package full of vanilla. nobody's gonna pity you, nobody's gonna let you slide.
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| 2. |
kentucky avenue
kentucky avenue gets the #2 spot because i always stay at the "days inn" on the real kentucky avenue in atlantic city. see, this is why these things should be "top ten" lists.
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| 3. |
north carolina avenue
much like park place, "north carolina avenue" takes its victims by surprise and chucks them around the room until they're completely out of play money and completely devoid of a desire to go on living. everyone knows to avoid the green properties when they're owned by another player, but it's something we often forget, as we're actually approaching them on the board. there are a few things to consider, here. first, when you're in around the red area, you're going to be more concerned with skipping past that "go to jail" space. and when you're really close -- in the yellows -- you've already established a massive fear of those hotel-engulfled royal blues. people constantly overlook the greens, but make no mistake: they'll kill ya every time.
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| 4. |
park place
"park place," boardwalk's bastard child, is the second most expensive property on the entire board. even more expensive than "oriental avenue" and the dreaded "short line railroad." touted almost as much for its powers as a status symbol as for its ability to drain the other players' cash-flow, park place arrives with a hefty price tag of 350 dollars. it's worth every penny, though -- with a hotel, you can charge any player who lands on it 1,500 bucks. hotels usually won't appear on park place until the later stages of the game, and by that point, there's a good chance that a 1,500 dollar rent expense will send one of your enemies straight to hell.
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| 5. |
baltic avenue
i never understood why so many people take craps on baltic avenue. it's a perfectly acceptable property. look, i know -- without houses or a hotel, you can only charge the landing player a pitiful four bucks. so what? you're never going to win the game collecting rent from undeveloped sites, not even the truly esteemed ones like boardwalk and its faithful lackey, park place. you need houses and hotels to win, so baltic -- cheap, sorry-ass baltic -- should only be judged on its rent with a hotel.
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| 6. |
illinois avenue
the "reds." you know 'em, you love 'em. though there are three monopolies that are technically worth more than the reds, players never seem to land on them quite as often. see, the reds bring a fate of the most unavoidable kind. there's no real explanation for it, but the crimson dynasty is one trio you simply cannot escape while going around the board. they're there, they don't move, you know when they're coming, and you've just gotta deal with it. nobody can save you if the reds belong to another player, so your safest bet is to collect them as fast as you can. with a color scheme that illustrates their hellish ability to torment players who make a quick pitstop, my chosen favorite of the three has always been "illinois avenue." there's no legitimate reason fo
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| 7. |
new york avenue
new york avenue, part of the esteemed "orange" monopoly, has one special bonus going for it. it's right next to "free parking." i realize that "house rules" with this game vary from house to house, but in most of the places i've played, "free parking" usually ends up with somewhere in the realm of 42 million dollars sitting in a big pile. it's the most heavily regarded spot on the board, and if you're lucky enough to land on it, you really can't lose. a combination of "community chest" payments and various other bills help make up free parking's substantial bank, and every player will constantly shoot for the stars once they're rounding past that "just visiting" space. and my, what's that right next to "free parking?&
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| 8. |
marvin gardens
now here's one you can really sink your teeth into -- "marvin gardens." part of the infamous trio of yellow properties, marvin gardens is a deceptively pricey hot spot that, when garnished with a plastic hotel, costs an amazing 1,200 bucks to visit. the "yellows" are often overlooked because they're, well, yellow -- but honestly, marvin and his two lemony friends are truly the covert game-breakers of monopoly. it's always the ones you least suspect, and few ever consider the pitfalls of landing on a seemingly harmless yellow rectangle with the word "gardens" in the title. ventnor and atlantic round out this particular monopoly, but clearly, marvin gardens led the pack.
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| 9. |
electric company
you might be wondering why i've chosen "electric company" over the similar "water works" utility card. you might be wondering why i've chosen it at all, since it's technically not a "property" and shouldn't really be on the list in the first place. i take solace in knowing few will care, but the reason is simple enough: i just can't stand saying "water works." i mean, i know we lose all sense of maturity and age appropriateness while playing monopoly, but there needs to be a line drawn somewhere. remember, whenever someone lands on one of your properties, you can't help but yell out "i own that -- i own oriental avenue!!" or something of that ilk. it's passable with oriental avenue and even electric company, but definitely not water
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| 10. |
st. charles place
st. charles place, which has somehow become one of the best-known properties on the board over the years, bears a few striking positives for all who'd seek to own it. with a price tag of 140 bucks, even the players who manage their money the poorest can usually afford it, and if you're able to fill the place up with green shacks before moving on to holy red hotels, you'll collect 750 bucks from any poor soul who accidentally drops by. besides, it just sounds like such an upscale place. "st. charles place." it's the one property in the game that causes the player who buys it to fake an accent and break their glasses in half sheerly so they can create a makeshift high-society monocle.
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